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Jakob Wanker
Posted: 12 Mar 2026, 12:36
by the coming of gary
The exciting youngster Jakob WANKER has signed
for Austrian club LASK Linz (Looks like Leonard just missed him last week)
* orders replica shirt *
.
Re: Jakob Wanker
Posted: 13 Mar 2026, 08:38
by Westham67
Handling slippery balls from set pieces are always a keepers biggest concern
Re: Jakob Wanker
Posted: 13 Mar 2026, 07:54
by Fauxstralian
You’d have thought the parents would have changed his name at some point
Jakob is a silly name
Re: Jakob Wanker
Posted: 13 Mar 2026, 04:33
by Hello Mrs. Jones
If it goes to penalties he'll win the toss
Re: Jakob Wanker
Posted: 13 Mar 2026, 03:42
by OK_Guy
rumour has it, that Wanker was scouted by Kuntz, honest.
Re: Jakob Wanker
Posted: 13 Mar 2026, 01:16
by Massive Attack
Useless at keeping a clean sheet.
Re: Jakob Wanker
Posted: 13 Mar 2026, 01:11
by Monsieur merde de cheval
Massive Attack" wrote: ↑12 Mar 2026, 20:29
Mex Martillo" wrote: ↑12 Mar 2026, 19:37
Looked him up, he really exists and is on transfer.com
What's his ability to shoot and ball skills like?
I imagine his ball skills to be up and down
Re: Jakob Wanker
Posted: 12 Mar 2026, 23:42
by Massive Attack
F 129 Row66" wrote: ↑12 Mar 2026, 23:00
A bloke called Rafael Scheidt, pronounced Shite, played for Celtic, in of all places Scotland. Commentators called him Rafael.
That's actually disrespectful if you are the player and would prefer your Family name to be proudly stated, regardless of the snowflake sensibilities of the darling divs that may have happened to be listening and too fucking thick to understand that.
I hope the crowd managed to chant loud enough so it was still picked up on their mics - He's fucking Scheidt!
Re: Jakob Wanker
Posted: 12 Mar 2026, 23:20
by John Drake
Massive Attack" wrote: ↑12 Mar 2026, 21:18
Westham67 wrote: ↑12 Mar 2026, 20:44
Massive Attack" wrote: ↑12 Mar 2026, 20:29
What's his ability to shoot and ball skills like?
And his dribbling
Just learnt he is in fact a Keeper, so it's more about his handling.
Reckon he's pretty quick coming off his line
Re: Jakob Wanker
Posted: 12 Mar 2026, 23:00
by F 129 Row66
A bloke called Rafael Scheidt, pronounced Shite, played for Celtic, in of all places Scotland. Commentators called him Rafael.
Re: Jakob Wanker
Posted: 12 Mar 2026, 21:18
by Massive Attack
Westham67 wrote: ↑12 Mar 2026, 20:44
Massive Attack" wrote: ↑12 Mar 2026, 20:29
Mex Martillo" wrote: ↑12 Mar 2026, 19:37
Looked him up, he really exists and is on transfer.com
What's his ability to shoot and ball skills like?
And his dribbling
Just learnt he is in fact a Keeper, so it's more about his handling.
Re: Jakob Wanker
Posted: 12 Mar 2026, 20:44
by Westham67
Massive Attack" wrote: ↑12 Mar 2026, 20:29
Mex Martillo" wrote: ↑12 Mar 2026, 19:37
Looked him up, he really exists and is on transfer.com
What's his ability to shoot and ball skills like?
And his dribbling
Re: Jakob Wanker
Posted: 12 Mar 2026, 20:29
by Massive Attack
Mex Martillo" wrote: ↑12 Mar 2026, 19:37
Looked him up, he really exists and is on transfer.com
What's his ability to shoot and ball skills like?
Re: Jakob Wanker
Posted: 12 Mar 2026, 20:24
by Westham67
Kenny Rodgers Roasters is a chain of restaurants in SE Asia and the middle East
Re: Jakob Wanker
Posted: 12 Mar 2026, 19:37
by Mex Martillo
Looked him up, he really exists and is on transfer.com
Reminds me I once saw a scanned memo from some British empire chap in Sudan in the 1800s telling London he had met a gentleman called Mustavashag.
Somethings never change.
Re: Jakob Wanker
Posted: 12 Mar 2026, 14:52
by Westham67
Massive Attack" wrote: ↑12 Mar 2026, 12:44
His Christian name being Jakobs as well.
Yeah good one LOL
Re: Jakob Wanker
Posted: 12 Mar 2026, 14:52
by Westham67
LOL Who's the VANKER in the black
Re: Jakob Wanker
Posted: 12 Mar 2026, 14:17
by Far Cough UKunt
One of the best comments I've seen is, his dad must be a ref.
Re: Jakob Wanker
Posted: 12 Mar 2026, 12:49
by goose
he'll fit right in.
Re: Jakob Wanker
Posted: 12 Mar 2026, 12:44
by Massive Attack
His Christian name being Jakobs as well.
