Winter '25/26 Transfer Rumours Thread

[stubbo-admin]

Well seems like with all these international breaks, and us languishing, the rumours of ins and outs are rife.

Chuck anything 'worthy' of discussion on this thread...

--------------

Incomings:

Pablo Felipe - €21m + €3m (Gil Vicente) | Forward
Valentin 'Taty' Castellanos - €26m + €4m (Lazio) | Forward
Adama Traore - £2m + £1m if stay up (Fulham) | Forward
Axel Disasi - Loan (Chelsea) | Centre Back
Keiber Lamadrid - £150k + £1m option | Attacking Mid

Outgoings:

Nicolas Füllkrug - 6 months loan (AC Milan)
Luis Guilherme - £17m + Sell On % (Sporting Lisbon)
George Earthy - 6 months loan (Bristol City)
Callum Marshall - 6 months loan (Bochum)
Andy Irving - 1.5m (Sparta Prague)
Guido Rodriguez - Undisclosed (Valencia)
Igor Julio - Loan Cancelled (Brighton)
James Ward Prowse - 6 months loan (Burnley)
Lucas Paqueta - £36.5m + Buy Back Clause (Flamengo)

[Far Cough UKunt]

We mean business this January.

Leeds and Forest must be shitting it.

Hahahaha

[Fauxstralian]

When Mendes was in bed with Wolves they got players like Neves, Jota & Neto
Theyve gone away from that with the Chinese owners

[El Scorchio]

He’ ll either be crap or if not will get injured seriously within 3 games. Its the West Ham way. 

Any news on a CB or 2 or an athletic midfielder who can carry the ball coming in? The CB area without Todibo means Kilman has to play every game. Thats a goal down before we start

 

 

With the Ake thing looks like a CB is definitely incoming from somewhere. As for a midfielder don’t hold your breath. That’s probably lowest priority with the ones we already have. Wingers and forwards please. 

[Mad Ferret]

We mean business this January.

Leeds and Forest must be shitting it.

[El Scorchio]

Ain’t the reason why Wolves are in the same shit as us. Is because they already been played like a fiddle by Mendes & Co.? Yeah. This is going to end well.!

I’d say not. They are several years removed and had their best run in recent history when he was involved. They’ve fucked up since. 

[Sir Alf]

He’ ll either be crap or if not will get injured seriously within 3 games. Its the West Ham way. 

Any news on a CB or 2 or an athletic midfielder who can carry the ball coming in? The CB area without Todibo means Kilman has to play every game. Thats a goal down before we start

[RBshorty]

Ain’t the reason why Wolves are in the same shit as us. Is because they already been played like a fiddle by Mendes & Co.? Yeah. This is going to end well.!

[goose]

Getting business done early 

A striker who is under 30 and can actually play 90min



this is all new to me. I wonder how we will manage to fuck this up?

[Come On You Irons]

The cautionary tale is Fabio Silva who Wolves paid a shed load of money for and who was crap - and continues to be crap now he's at Borussia Dortmund

I'm assuming this transfer was during Nuno's tenure at the club.



 

 

 

Indeed. I won't get too excited over a bloke who has scored a few goals in a truly awful league. Let's see him first. Hopefully he's not yet another dud striker.

[Westham67]

The video of Pablo Jesus bloke is from the THIRD division of the Algarve pub league. He cleans Sullivan's pool, so his signing for West Ham covers both bases for Sullivan and saves him a score a day

[stubbo-admin]

This Pablo/Felipe/Jesus fella has ridiculous stats but looks as ordinary as I've ever seen on the various videos I've seen of him lolloping about accompanied by the standard YouTube shittest music imaginable. 
I see those fraggle rock weirdos on Analytics United have done a video on him too but I can't be arsed to listen to probably an hour of Beaker chatting to Doogie Howser about fucking 'goal contribitions', 'ground duels' and generally making the game sound horrendously boring and cuntish. Fucking Gen Z for you. 

I'd still much rather have Strand Larsen and I dont care that he will be expensive, I dont care if it makes Sully cry into his morning Spunkflakes, or makes him cough up his fucking spleen (this would be ideal) he needs to fucking get it done, the grubby little cսnt. I would have concerns if this Paul Phillip Pear Tree of Jesus chap is our only striker acquisition, we have no idea if he'll adapt to the Premier league but I suspect it's just our Mendes infestation putting another of his clients in the shop window while we are still considered to be a shop window worth looking at. 

FUCK OFF WEST HAM

I trust Mendes more than Salthouse/Silkman.

I dont trust any of them but at least Mendes has a reason to not bend us over quite as badly as he normally would given Nuno is his client, mate and chief helmet polisher. Mendes also has a more extensive and higher quality list of cunts to foist onto us for financial gain than the other two bob prick. Also this seems to be progressing quickly, so that's handy.
There you go, new years fucking positives for you, I'm renewed, rebuilt, we are staying up, (insert tiresome mindless faux positivity phrase here) .. etc. 

HNY Vexed.

To summarise the 'nerds' assessment of Pablo 2.0:

- Physically strong and competes well against the centre backs
- Works very hard out of possession, closing and harrying
- Gets a lot of shots on target.
- Whilst in a hot streak currently, the underlying numbers are the same from the previous season.
- Prone to misplacing passes

Basically saying he's a good thing but clearly not the finished article at 21. Think the quote from their extended pod was: "He treats duels with the CB as if he's going to war with them".

Scored a good goal against Brentford in pre-season....robbed and outfought Nathan Collins, before rifling it in from edge of the area.

Expect he gets a few goals before end of season, we go down, and then Mendes forces a sale to someone like Spurs. 

[John Drake]

The cautionary tale is Fabio Silva who Wolves paid a shed load of money for and who was crap - and continues to be crap now he's at Borussia Dortmund

I'm assuming this transfer was during Nuno's tenure at the club.

 

[Vexed]

This Pablo/Felipe/Jesus fella has ridiculous stats but looks as ordinary as I've ever seen on the various videos I've seen of him lolloping about accompanied by the standard YouTube shittest music imaginable. 
I see those fraggle rock weirdos on Analytics United have done a video on him too but I can't be arsed to listen to probably an hour of Beaker chatting to Doogie Howser about fucking 'goal contribitions', 'ground duels' and generally making the game sound horrendously boring and cuntish. Fucking Gen Z for you. 

I'd still much rather have Strand Larsen and I dont care that he will be expensive, I dont care if it makes Sully cry into his morning Spunkflakes, or makes him cough up his fucking spleen (this would be ideal) he needs to fucking get it done, the grubby little cսnt. I would have concerns if this Paul Phillip Pear Tree of Jesus chap is our only striker acquisition, we have no idea if he'll adapt to the Premier league but I suspect it's just our Mendes infestation putting another of his clients in the shop window while we are still considered to be a shop window worth looking at. 

FUCK OFF WEST HAM

I trust Mendes more than Salthouse/Silkman.

I dont trust any of them but at least Mendes has a reason to not bend us over quite as badly as he normally would given Nuno is his client, mate and chief helmet polisher. Mendes also has a more extensive and higher quality list of cunts to foist onto us for financial gain than the other two bob prick. Also this seems to be progressing quickly, so that's handy.
There you go, new years fucking positives for you, I'm renewed, rebuilt, we are staying up, (insert tiresome mindless faux positivity phrase here) .. etc. 

[twoleftfeet]

This Pablo/Felipe/Jesus fella has ridiculous stats but looks as ordinary as I've ever seen on the various videos I've seen of him lolloping about accompanied by the standard YouTube shittest music imaginable. 
I see those fraggle rock weirdos on Analytics United have done a video on him too but I can't be arsed to listen to probably an hour of Beaker chatting to Doogie Howser about fucking 'goal contribitions', 'ground duels' and generally making the game sound horrendously boring and cuntish. Fucking Gen Z for you. 

I'd still much rather have Strand Larsen and I dont care that he will be expensive, I dont care if it makes Sully cry into his morning Spunkflakes, or makes him cough up his fucking spleen (this would be ideal) he needs to fucking get it done, the grubby little cսnt. I would have concerns if this Paul Phillip Pear Tree of Jesus chap is our only striker acquisition, we have no idea if he'll adapt to the Premier league but I suspect it's just our Mendes infestation putting another of his clients in the shop window while we are still considered to be a shop window worth looking at. 

FUCK OFF WEST HAM

I trust Mendes more than Salthouse/Silkman.

[El Scorchio]

This Pablo/Felipe/Jesus fella has ridiculous stats but looks as ordinary as I've ever seen on the various videos I've seen of him lolloping about accompanied by the standard YouTube shittest music imaginable. 
I see those fraggle rock weirdos on Analytics United have done a video on him too but I can't be arsed to listen to probably an hour of Beaker chatting to Doogie Howser about fucking 'goal contribitions', 'ground duels' and generally making the game sound horrendously boring and cuntish. Fucking Gen Z for you. 

I'd still much rather have Strand Larsen and I dont care that he will be expensive, I dont care if it makes Sully cry into his morning Spunkflakes, or makes him cough up his fucking spleen (this would be ideal) he needs to fucking get it done, the grubby little cսnt. I would have concerns if this Paul Phillip Pear Tree of Jesus chap is our only striker acquisition, we have no idea if he'll adapt to the Premier league but I suspect it's just our Mendes infestation putting another of his clients in the shop window while we are still considered to be a shop window worth looking at. 

FUCK OFF WEST HAM

Happy new year to you too!

[El Scorchio]

Well, anyone who was worried about Nketiah and his dodgy hamstrings can breathe easy. Apparently he’s, ummm, done a hamstring in training. At least he had the good grace to do it before joining us. 

[Vexed]

This Pablo/Felipe/Jesus fella has ridiculous stats but looks as ordinary as I've ever seen on the various videos I've seen of him lolloping about accompanied by the standard YouTube shittest music imaginable. 
I see those fraggle rock weirdos on Analytics United have done a video on him too but I can't be arsed to listen to probably an hour of Beaker chatting to Doogie Howser about fucking 'goal contribitions', 'ground duels' and generally making the game sound horrendously boring and cuntish. Fucking Gen Z for you. 

I'd still much rather have Strand Larsen and I dont care that he will be expensive, I dont care if it makes Sully cry into his morning Spunkflakes, or makes him cough up his fucking spleen (this would be ideal) he needs to fucking get it done, the grubby little cսnt. I would have concerns if this Paul Phillip Pear Tree of Jesus chap is our only striker acquisition, we have no idea if he'll adapt to the Premier league but I suspect it's just our Mendes infestation putting another of his clients in the shop window while we are still considered to be a shop window worth looking at. 

FUCK OFF WEST HAM

[Sir Alf]

Its given some of us hope again. Sullivan is a cruel man. 

[Gibson]

Some iffy goalies in that reel but thats not his concern. I like his penalties though...if you miss or it gets saved its not because he's fannying around like he's on strictly just run up & hit it, 

[Keep dreaming]

A new striker, 3 years overdue. Fuck off Sullivan 

[theaxeman]

This deal nailed on apparently.

[Fauxstralian]

Let’s see how he deals with crosses, especially around Easter
Predict he will come back to life early in April

[Django]

Fmob- a sense of urgency in the January window. Sulivan must be sweating. Looks like a gamble but I’m happy with any mobile centre forward at this point.

[Gaffer58]

Can he defend at corners?

[Takashi Miike]

Pablo Felipe Pereira de Jesus
£85 for the shirt , another £50 to put his name on
Medical booked in according to WestHamCentral 
21yo 10 goals in 13 this season.
6’1 

We can only hope that nobody fucks with the Jesus then eh?

my fav ever film